Category Archives: hypothetically speaking

What I would do if I could organize the Olympics (hypothetically speaking of course)

Let me be honest: usually I don’t give a crap about sports. Sure, I will cheer for the dutch footbal team when they are kicking other peoples’ buts (quite literally sometimes), I’ll even wear a orange hat, but other than that I just don’t care. If you make me watch the Tour de France for 10 hours, I WILL be miserable. And no, I really don’t care who wins Wimbledon, up until this year I never even heard of the names Federer and Nadal. It all changed when I started watching the Olympic Games though. The Games melted my cold cold ‘I don’t give a crap about sports’-heart. THOSE ATHLETES.

But, I do have a few suggestions for the next organizer of the olympics. Or, let’s just say I would do some things differently if I could organize the olympics (hypothetically of course).

1. I would introduce a new olympic sport: Scrabble, because although I have two left feet, I want a golden medal too (I happen to be very good at it, ask my competitors who are still crying themselves to sleep every night).

2. In old times, ancient Greece to be precise, all the athletes were naked. Now, I know there is a lot going on about the economic crisis and stuff in modern day Greece, but I think those Ancient Greek were on to something. We should honor their tradition! Let’s not honor that tradition too much though. Back then there were only male athletes, so for modern times sake, I’ll be kind and let all the women wear clothes. The men on the other hand, namely the swimmers, hockey-men and rowers: me no gusta muchos clothing, capish?! Only cute Calvin Klein boxers are allowed. All those dwindeling genitals are a bit too much for my taste anyway.

3. The Spice Girls would be a part of my opening AND closing ceremony. In my opinion this asks for no explanation, but alas, for the unfortunate few who are not acquinted with the worlds most awesome girl group: reason number one, number two and number three (‘be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on’ – are they seriously singing about condoms?! YES THEY ARE). Only a small selection of their finest work. You’re welcome.

4. I’m sorry, but can we please talk about these lame flowers?! I would not even give them to my grandma, that’s how boring and old-fashioned they are. Were the Brits worried the girls would otherwise break down under the weight of an enormous bouquet? They are athletes for heaven’s sake, they can easily carry 5 kg flowers (beautiful Dutch tulips of example)!

5. You can call me crazy, but I would totally offer the “losers” some perspective after their loss. You didn’t win? You worked your butt off for the last four years and it turned out to be all for nothing? You can get fat now! Let’s eat some cake! Let’s watch some Bridget Jones! Doesn’t matter anymore anyway.

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What I would do in space. (Hypothetically speaking of course.)

A few days ago I was watching a russian video-stream following a capsule on a very big parachute heading towards the earth. The cameraman appeared to have a bit of trouble with focussing the image, but it didn’t bother me. I was utterly fascinated by what was happening. After almost 200 days in the ISS space station, the dutch astronaut André Kuipers came back from space. During his stay he tweeted about his adventure and updated his flickr account with beautiful pictures. It was so much fun to follow his journey! Although I must confess that I think the ISS misses a female touch.

So, what would I do when NASA or ESA would send me to space? (Hypothetically speaking of course.)1

  • Listen to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” on repeat. Just because I love David Bowie and seriously, do you know a better occasion for playing this song over and over again?
  • Practice my moonwalk. No pun intended, I honestly think I can master that move better when being weightless than while being on earth. (It’s something about having two left feet.)
  • Stare out of the window and watch the earth while having all sorts of dramatic thoughts. “I feel so small”. “It’s so beautiful”. “What is the meaning of life?”.
  • I know I sound like a girl when saying this, but I can’t help it: I like pretty things. I would totally hang some stylish curtains or would opt for cuter plates and cups. I know it’s all serious business with the russians up there, but why make it look even more un-cosy than it already is?
  • Tweet and instagram the shit out of my trip. Because nothing says “I’m more awsome than you” better than tweeting and instagramming from space. A picture of my cappuccino with one of the nine planets in the background (maybe even squeezing one of the many moons in there), hello! I’m just saying.
  • Invent a cure to all the horrible diseases. Come on, let’s make my time up there also a little bit useful, right?
  • Also, I would casually tell EVERYONE about my effortlessly bouncy hair. Retweet to all the beautybloggers and make it my beautytip. “My tip for bouncy hair is going to space. It really makes your hair look special and bouncy!” Haters gonna hate, but atleast my hair is more bouncy than theirs.
  • Have a film-marathon. Ok, this is a tricky one, because I have been thinking about this for ages, but I can’t decide for the life of me which films we should watch. Somehow Star Wars seems a bit too obvious.
  • Throw m&m’s in the air and actually catch them with my mouth. Pretty self explanatory.

I could go on for hours and hours… (somehow, this worries me).

Show 1 footnote

  1. Although I would definitely go if they’d ask me ;-).
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